Dealing with conflict can be a stressful time for all parties involved. I was at a meeting recently, and I suggested to someone that we move along in a our discussions because our current topic was not leading anywhere. The result: I was shouted at, pointed at, and sworn at amid a torrent of other ill feelings. Often or not I find myself in the the firing line of others, purely because I am interested in people and develop good communications with most people I know. I am seen as someone who you can rant and rave with (no I am not a disco enthusiast) because I can take it, and I put myself in the position to be there for people, and more than likely I will still be there afterwards.
How I dealt with the situation:
Experience has shown me that on occasion someone’s ill temper and feelings towards another may not be personal at all, or a reflection of anything that you might have done. It can happen for two reasons: 1) You’re the wrong person at the wrong time, or 2) The person feels a certain closeness to you, which has enabled them to let loose. My response was to simply absorb the rant and then counter-balance the atmosphere in a calm and polite manner highlighting the wrong doing of the person involved, as well as urging to them to take some time out to explore where those momentary emotions came from. In most cases people can have a swelling of frustration or anger due to unrelated issues. Meditation can help with this, as it trains the mind to slow down and create clarity of thought. We should always seek to explore the depths of our minds to find the source of bad emotions and ill thoughts.
The whole situation came about because the person in question thought that another colleague and myself was not allowing for a free flow of an idea of his. My standpoint on this is that creativity involves ideas that have values. And ideas should not be enforced onto others, especially after they’ve been politely declined on several occasions. Pressure can get to you, especially in small teams within this crazy global financial and society shifting crisis. It’s important to always have a partner (personal and/or business) who not only supports you, but challenges you in a constructive way. This will help evolve your activities and interests to a higher level.
These days most people are searching with passion for a stable work-life balance. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have eight days in a week to work four and rest four, or simply to rest four and work three. I am positive we would have much more productive societies based on happiness and wellbeing. This whole five day-a-week work ethic is a human-made culture of doing things based on political and financial gain. The last time I checked we all still have free-will (well, to a certain extent). Whilst I appreciate that not everyone can go freelance (as I do, and it may not last forever), but nevertheless, we should ensure we each create an individually tailor-made work-life balance wellbeing that we enforce and make clear to others, and defend it as we would our life. Companies need to become more flexible, conscious and innovative, and individuals need to become more earthy and put themselves first. It’s tough, because what this implies is a total shift in the paradigms of how we approach and do things. But it’s not impossible! You need to do YOU!
I have created a great work-life balance wellbeing attitude, agenda and schedule for myself and my family. But do remember, change within you often means others have to adapt as well. Be mindful of this and you can better deal with conflict, especially when dealing with work related issues.